Be Still My Soul, The Lord Is on Thy Side

Last night I was praying and telling Heavenly Father how hard it is to feel like I'm never someone's choice. Promptly following, there came a clear statement to mind, which is also a line from my patriarchal blessing saying, "You are one of His chosen daughters." My feeling of heartache quickly left and I was filled with the love of my Father. Today as I was taking the sacrament I thought about Jesus Christ and His mission. The sacrament became a far more personal experience as I pictured my Savior and remembered that I am engraved on His hands. Partaking of the sacrament is sacred, and today I really felt that sacredness. The thought came to me that I have a brother who chose to suffer and atone for my sins, and He chose to feel the sorrows and heartaches I feel. He chose me and continues to choose me. We have a wonderful, merciful, loving God.

Earlier in the week, I was feeling badly about some feelings I had along with some pride that was preventing me to be the best I could be. On Monday night, I went to FHE for all of about ten minutes to hand out some thank you cards, but my heart wasn't feeling too great, so I decided to go to the temple. I knew it was closed, but sometimes sitting in front of the temple does a great amount of good. The glory, whiteness, and light of the temple reminded me of who I am trying to be and my divine nature. Surely a daughter of God would be willing to forgive and to feel love and compassion for others. It's amazing that a car in a parking lot can become a sacred place. That night I prayed for forgiveness, and Heavenly Father continues to forgive me. My heart is filled with gratitude to know that I am a daughter of Heavenly parents who love me no matter what, and their love will not leave me.

Sitting in Relief Society today did a lot for my spirit. We were talking about helping those in need and then we read a scripture from Mark 14:8, which says, "She hath done what she could." Heavenly Father was speaking to me today, but I was also listening. Throughout the week, I was not listening to the voice of the spirit. Most of my days this past week were filled with voices that told me I'm not good enough and what I'm doing is not enough. Today I decided to listen one single voice-- the voice of the spirit. That voice told me, "You hath done what you could." I have a strong testimony that God speaks to us today, and that he is eager to give us answers, but we have to be listening and have a willing heart.

I have a strong desire to be an instrument in Heavenly Father's hands and to do the Lord's work. I know that if I continue to seek learning the things of God, that I will be able to do good in any capacity. How grateful I am for the blessings that come from living the Gospel joyfully and having faith in the Plan of Salvation and all it entails. Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ is hard work, but I know that it's a work I want to be part of, and I want to be satisfied with my accomplishments by the end of my time here on Earth.

Happy Sunday!