I believe that marriage is not a magic wand. Habits don't change when you get married. Many people feel that when they're married they'll start being happier, maybe even that they'll start going to the gym every day for an hour and cleaning their bathroom twice a week. It doesn't seem that it works that way, which is why I am trying to become my best self. A parcel of marriages surrounding me have shown this to be true.
Love is love, but I also want to like the man I marry. To me, marriage means many things, one of those definitions being companionship. Hopefully when I someday marry, I'll be bffs with my husband. Haha. I want that so much. How great would it be to have someone to hang out with? The day I have someone to laugh with and hold hands with will be so lovely. Marriage seems to also be about compromise and sacrifice. Doing things together holds a lot of value, which includes holding hands. It's the small things that add up to make love wonderful. That's what I think anyway.... Because, you know, I have so much experience..., but I feel that my thoughts have value.
When I was in YW, I remember the advisers saying, "Write a list of the attributes of your future husband." I'm sure that list was pretty short, and said something like, "Good looking. Returned Missionary. Nice. Funny." My list now is vastly different. Here it is: A man who loves God more than He loves me. A man who loves to laugh and can appreciate my over-reaction to beautiful, exciting things. A man with ambition and intelligence-- intelligence is so attractive. A man who wants to be a father. A man who treats others with kindness, and sees their divine nature. A man who smiles. A man that sees the value of education and learning. A man who thinks I'm beautiful. A man that can provide, but also appreciates a working woman (I have plans on using my degree). A man who wants to hold my hand kiss me. A man who is well-groomed and looks nice and neat. A man who enjoys just being with me even if it's cooking dinner or sitting next to me while I do my 'old lady' family history hobby.
*I could probably go on, but I won't. Also, if you fit this description, please make a date and call me at __________. Hahaha. The opportunity was there and too good to pass...
With all of my heart, I want to be a mother. I also want to create a beautiful home that makes others feel at home. Decorating isn't just another thing to me-- it's about creating a welcoming, beautiful place where the spirit resides. Hopefully the man I marry wants a lovely home, because I want to make a home where beautiful children enter and fill it with even more happiness, craziness, laughter and lots of kisses. I don't need a huge house with lots of fancy things, but I want a home to fill with family, cooking, dancing, music, scripture reading, and laughter.
I believe that I will get married in time, and to a man who loves me and likes me. With a lot of support, patience, love and hard work, we'll be together for eternity; I believe that.
My bishop gave me a wise piece of advice, which I intend to follow. He said, "Maddie, I want you to get out of your comfort zone in whatever way that means for you." So I've been giving that some thought and action. I realize that to someday fulfill my goals, I have to do something about them! Here's to dating and creating lasting friendships and relationships. I've already started, and I know that Heavenly Father is blessing me with a great amount of gumption because He loves me and wants to bless me. I have made so many new, lovely, kind, funny friends in my ward. They have blessed my life so much. Isn't God great? I love knowing that I have a Heavenly Father who wants to bless me, and wants the best for me. He wants the best for each of His children!
Happy Thursday!
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